


Denied Service

by wordxkarma



Series: Mornings With the Phantom Troupe [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, a fic where chrollo is denied service at sephora after the troupe has an intervention, definitely a crack fic, feitan's an asshole burning expensive sephora makeup, hisoka ruins everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordxkarma/pseuds/wordxkarma
Summary: After the Phantom Troupe burns Chrollo's makeup and has an intervention, Chrollo is joined by Hisoka and Illumi and the three go to Sephora to stock up. Sequel to Mornings With the Phantom Troupe.





	

“Danchou, we gotta have an intervention,” Shalnark said happily, leading Chrollo into the main part of the base where everybody was seated.  Chrollo blinked.

In one hand, Feitan was holding Chrollo’s expensive makeup bag.  In the other hand was a lighter.

“What’s going on?” Chrollo asked, and Feitain, clicked open the lighter, sending the makeup bag into flames.  Chrollo just stood there in shock, going through all 7 stages of grief at once as he saw all of his money flushed down the drain.

“Every morning,” Phinx started, “you spend hours in the bathroom, drawing that cross on your forehead.  Why don’t you just get a fuckin’ tattoo?” he asked, and Chrollo exhaled, trying to keep his cool.  He was the leader.  He had to be strong.

“Fuck you, Phinx. You’re not my mom,” he instead said, before storming out of the Troupe’s base.  How dare they?! He spent so much money on his Kat Von D eyeliner and his Color Wonderland Sephora palettes.  Makeup was the only time he would spend his money!

Making his way downtown and walking fast, faces were passing, and he was Sephora bound.  On the way, Hisoka appeared next to him.

“Chro _bro_ ,” he said.  “I know you’re upset about your makeup so I’m going shopping with you.  I need to buy more makeup too.”

Chrollo huffed but didn’t say anything against it, before realizing that Illumi was silently stalking Hisoka.  “Is that bug-eyed freak going with us too?”

“Yes,” was all Hisoka said.

And so the three made their way to Sephora.

 

\---

 

When they got to Sephora, Chrollo noticed the arm wrestling booth up from, and in the center sat Gon.  Around him were a bunch of ladies, swooning over the 12-year-old’s ripped arms.  Leorio stood to the side, trying to promote Gon, but Chrollo didn’t care.  He needed his makeup.

Ignoring the only cashier, Chrollo started to stuff his pockets with makeup, too lazy to get a shopping cart, and some other ladies saw him, thinking he was stealing.  One of them went to the single cashier, pointing at the shady looking asshole.

“Sir, I think that greasy looking guy with the edgy trench coat is stealing,” she said, and the cashier sighed, rubbing his temples. Then he realized who it was and his eyes turned red and he flew into the air, jumping over to Chrollo.

“First you steal my clan’s eyes, and then you steal my store’s makeup?!” Kurapika shouted, and Chrollo held his hands up in surrender.

“I was going to pay, I just didn’t want to get a cart,” he said calmly, and Kurapika watched him suspiciously.

“Then come up to the cash register with me and empty your pockets.”

They both went to the cash register and Chrollo dumped out all of his makeup on the counter and Kurapika started to ring it up, the total stopping at $733.

Chrollo slapped down some money on the counter, and Kurapika stared at it for a moment.

“That’s 5 Jenny,” he said, and Chrollo nodded, putting down more Jenny.

“Now that’s 10 Jenny. You still need 723 Jenny,” Kurapika pointed out. Eventually, Chrollo put down a wad of cash that was much more than $733 and Kurapika pushed it all back at a now-frustrated Chrollo.

“I have enough money!” he exclaimed, stomping his foot down like a little child.

Kurapika shook his head.  “We don’t take money from thieves or assholes.  You’re both.”

Chrollo started to argue but Kurapika continued, his eyes starting to turn red again.  “Plus, your friends are destroying my store.  Go shop at Ulta.”

Chrollo turned back to see Killua on a skateboard, knocking shit over, with Illumi chasing after him, throwing open tubes of lipstick to try and knock Killua off.  In the corner, Hisoka was naked, covering himself with the Urban Decay eyeshadow palettes, and Leorio was covering Gon’s eyes, screaming.

“Killua’s your friend!” Chrollo protested, but Kurapika pointed at the exit of the store.

“Get. Out.”

Eventually, Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi were chased out of the store, not even being given time for Hisoka to get dressed.

“Rejected again,” Chrollo said sadly, looking back at Kurapika.

Hisoka grinned creepily.  “Let’s go do the same thing at Ulta now,” he suggested, and Illumi and Chrollo exchanged looks before looking back at the clown-fucker.

“Fuck you. And no.”

And so, Chrollo was forced to get the cross tattoo’d on his forehead after being rejected at Sephora, because he refused to shop at Ulta, and the Troupe lived happily ever after,  never having to worry about Chrollo taking up the bathroom for hours in the morning.


End file.
